Who Needs a Heart
by Akai-neechan
Summary: A sin has no need for a heart. Envy POV. Warnings: Character death and spoilers for ep. 50.


**Title**: Who Needs a Heart  
**Author**: Akai-neechan  
**Summary**: A sin has no need for a heart.  
**Corrections**: Last corrections made on 01.01.2012

_**A/N**: This is just a little something that came out when I listened to that song. It wasn't the entire song that brought it up, actually. Only the "Who needs a heart, when a heart can be broken" part. Still, I'm surprised I actually got around to typing it, but the idea just wouldn't leave me alone._

_So, enough rambling._

-.-.-

**Who Needs a Heart**

-.-.-

It's fun to watch you like that, chibi. To see that scared face, those widened in horror eyes. You humans would say that it's a sight that "_warms your heart_". The only difference is that I don't have one to be warmed.

I can still enjoy this, though. Seeing you like that staring down at me. And what makes everything better is all of that which is hidden behind the horror. You're a pretty good faker there, chibi, I have to hand it to you!

All of the disbelief is just a mask, I know. A mask to hide the hurt and betrayal that hunt your eyes under these forced emotions. Oh, how I enjoy fooling around with you. It's just too easy!

I will forever remember you like this, chibi. With those wide eyes, the way you're leaning over me with your fist frozen in mid-air. You can't hit me like _this_, can you, chibi?

Of course you _can't_. You can't punch _this_ face.

After all, it's the face you fell in love with, how could you ever punch it?

_You must understand  
That the touch of your hand  
Makes my pulse react  
That it's only the thrill  
Of boy meeting girl  
Opposites attract_

It's the face that greeted you every night. It's the face that leans close to yours to steal yet another kiss again and again. It's the face you couldn't forget.

This was all supposed to be just a game, right? We would fake that we were enemies and fight during the day before hiding somewhere and spending the nights together in a time and place no one else knew about.

And the next day we would fight again.

It couldn't be so hard for you, chibi, when you could see one face during those nights and another on the battlefield. It wasn't hard for me, either.

And you shouldn't be so surprised that I pulled this trump card, as well. You should have expected a heartless creature like me to do everything to win in the end.

Besides, you asked for it yourself. Did you want to see it one more time, before you died? Stupid chibi.

_Its physical  
Only logical  
You must try to ignore  
That it means more than that_

It was never anything more than a physical relationship and you knew it. I was using you time after time, and you let me. Sometimes I really wonder how someone who was supposed to be a genius could be so _stupid_.

I can't help but smirk in that dark way you hate so much as my hand rips trough your chest. Your face right now is an interesting sight. Did you actually see me transform into my preferred form, or are you still staring into those golden eyes that mirror yours? By the look on your face, I'd say it's the second.

Do you even feel the pain? I wonder. You didn't scream. You only stared at me. Such a strange way to die!

It's not like I imagined you being killed by someone else. No, that pleasure was saved for me and me only, and you knew that, chibi. Makes me curious as to why you still did those things with me…

You were much different in bed, crying out my name and cringing to my body like your life depended on it.

And now your red hot blood is slipping down my transformed arm. It's ironic, isn't it? Especially after what you said last night.

Especially after you said you _loved_ me.

_What's love got to do, got to do with it  
What's love but a second hand emotion  
What's love got to do, got to do with it  
Who needs a heart  
When a heart can be broken_

Do you realize what your _love_ just did to you? You humans are really pathetic sometimes!

Like, with all the head you pay to the heart. Why care so much about it?

The heart is a very fragile thing, after all. Yours is the perfect example of that.

But I still wonder why you people make such a big deal to something that can be broken so easily. It's too hard for an emotionless creature like me to understand.

Even after I saw yours break twice in less than a minute. It was really intriguing, if you ask me. Seeing all evidence on your expression, after I burst it into a million pieces, showing you the face that used to be mine; and then just seconds after stretching my sharpened arm right through the remains of that small pomp inside of your chest…

I can taste your blood on my lips again, chibi. Even though the usual situation didn't include you dying over me, I can still recall every time I bit hard enough to taste the salty substance.

And, oh, how I enjoyed your whimpers and cries all those times…

I still can't exactly understand why you were so surprised and broken when I killed you, though. Chibi, did you really think that I loved you back? Didn't I make that clear enough by not answering you last night?

I don't feel such things. You should know. All I ever felt towards you was that maddening burning _envy_ that made me dream for this day.

I really envy you, chibi. I always had. You were the one that bastard replaced me with. _How_ can I not envy you?

You were a real human being, while I was nothing but a shadow of one, locked into an immortal body. How could I _not _envy you?

You had the life that was supposed to be _mine_; you had the family that belonged to _me_!

_How could I not envy you!_

And even now I still do, you know. You're finally going to get rid of this world and go to a supposedly peaceful place. And not only that – you're going to meet with that bastard now. Something that I'll never manage.

'Couse I don't really think that sins and people go to the same place when they die, you know?

_It may seem to you  
That I'm acting confused  
When you're close to me  
If I tend to look dazed  
I've read it someplace  
I've got cause to be_

I never loved you, chibi. I wonder whether you knew that.

I never even cared for you, I'm sure of that.

After all, I'm a sin. A sin has no heart, no soul, and most certainly no need for any of them.

At least I didn't need them. All I needed was to repay that bastard and after I failed to kill him (damn Dante… I _swear_ I'll get her for that one day) I decided it would be good to take my revenge on you, you know?

It's just fair – you stole _my_ life and now I'm taking away _yours_.

_Equivalent exchange_, isn't that what you alchemists call it?

_There's a name for it  
There's a phrase that fits  
But whatever the reason  
You do it for me_

I still remember the first night when we got together, chibi. Do you? I can't help but wonder if you loved me then, or if those feelings came later. I remember you asking to see my real face.

Things got so fun afterwards. The way you would give yourself to me every night and not even expect me to be gentle… What exactly did you get from those nights anyway?

I'm starting to think that you were a masochist or something! You knew I was using you, chibi. Why did you never push me away?

Is that what love is?

_What's love got to do, got to do with it  
What's love but a second hand emotion  
What's love got to do, got to do with it  
Who needs a heart  
When a heart can be broken_

You can't really expect a sin like me to know what love really is, after all.

If it were Lust, she would know.

Pride has a family, so I guess he knows as well.

Sloth… I think she remembered some things about love from her life as a human…

Wrath thinks it's all about him and he always wanted someone to love him… He's really strange, that kid.

Though I don't really think Gluttony knew anything else than eating and following Lust… but maybe the bond those two shared was some twisted form of love… or you could at least say he loved _food_, so he knows more than me about it, obviously.

And I don't even need to say anything about Greed.

So what does that make _me_? How the hell was I supposed to know anything about love from what little I remembered of my childhood with Dante and that bastard?

The old hag didn't give a damn about me and _he_ was always so busy with his researches… It was his fault that I got poisoned as well! I own that guy a lot, you know.

Actually I don't think you know just how much I hate him. Sure, he left you too, but did he turn you into a monster? Did he _kill_ you, chibi? Eh? Did he?

_I've been thinking of a new direction  
But I have to say  
I've been thinking about my own protection  
It scares me to feel this way_

I tried to take it all out by killing you, but I guess it didn't work as well as planned. I still hate him just as much. And I still want to kill him with my own hands… damn Dante…

But don't you think it's weird, chibi? I talk how I know nothing of love; still I didn't even give you a chance to show me. Stupid, isn't it?

You were the first person who said that to me. It's strange, chibi. I never loved you, but you loved me. And I killed you.

I guess I envied you because you could love as well.

And aren't I supposed to be happy now? I hated you, chibi, but now when you're finally dead, killed by my own hand…

I don't feel anything as I stare into your dull and lifeless eyes. _Nothing_, chibi, _nothing_ at all. Not even _hate_, not even that sick satisfaction that was _supposed_ to be there! Nothing at _all_!

I can see now why Lust wanted to become human so badly. She wanted to feel, didn't she? Because the concept of feeling… It's so far from me right now. I haven't really felt anything for more than 400 years and the memories of that time are so faint I can't say I really understand feeling at all.

It's like the love thing. I must be the one sin that had been deprived completely of both.

Sometimes I wonder why that bastard hated me _so_ _much_…

_What's love got to do, got to do with it  
What's love but a sweet old fashioned notion  
What's love got to do, got to do with it  
Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken_

You know what the weirdest thing is, chibi? I think that if I had a heart right now, it would be broken beyond repair. It's a good thing that I don't have one then, isn't it?


End file.
